Gender Differences: Male Speech
Many women would tell you there is no such thing as Male Speech patterns. Getting a man to talk at all can be rare, as many wives might say. But men do talk, they just talk less than women do. And the words they use can be different, as well.
Words Men Use
- Men use words like “want”–demands and commands, rather than requests.
- Men prefer so-called determiners — ”a,” ”the,” ”that,” ”these” — along with more numbers in their speech.
- Men use more qualifiers, like “very, a lot, a little, a little bit, more and some.”
- Men slur words together. “I hafta gota the store”.
- Men tend to be more blunt and to the point. No superfluous words or phrases. Nothing extra.
- Their dialogue is always action or goal oriented. They don’t wait for stuff to happen to them. If they see a problem, their first instinct is to go DO SOMETHING to fix it.
- Will use sports and business metaphors in their conversation.
Talking Habits
- Men tend to talk more than women in public situations.
- Men are more likely to look away from each other while talking.
- Men are more likely to listen silently when other men are talking with no sounds or murmurs to encourage the other man to keep talking.
- Men are more inclined to debate during a conversation.
- Men use conversation to negotiate status in the group, to keep people from pushing them around and to preserve their independence
Tools Men Use for Gaining an Audience and Control of the Conversation:
- Interrupting another speaker
- More likely to challenge or dispute what other people say
- More likely to ignore others
- Males tend to interact in more crude ways also. While in a group situation narratives such as jokes and stories are highly valued, especially when they are well performed for an audience.
Topics of Conversation
- The male verbal strategy is to divulge as few personal details as possible, while assiduously avoiding all expressions of emotion that could be interpreted as weakness.
- Rarely talk about their personal relationships and feelings but may compete to prove themselves better informed about current affairs, travel, sports, etc..
- Topics change often in a group of men and the men may try to establish a reasonably stable hierarchy, with some men dominating conversation and others talking very little.
- Often seek straightforward solutions to problems and useful advice.
- Men usually monologue at each other and at women. Conversation is not an exchange of ideas; it’s a competition.
Does it sound like men are inconsiderate conversational partners? They’re not. Their brains and biochemistry are just wired a certain way (which we’ll talk about in a couple of days) and that biology helps to promote their conversational habits. Try using some of these suggestions for your next male character to give him a hint of typical male conversation.
Have you observed any specific male speech patterns in the men around you? Leave a comment and share your observations with us.
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Tomorrow’s topic - Female Speech - why do women talk so much?
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Related posts:
- Gender Differences: Female Speech
- Gender Differences: Male Thinking
- Gender Differences: Male Body Language
- Gender Differences: Female Thinking
- Gender Differences: Female Body Language
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21 comments
Margaret Yang on July 30, 2008 at 7:50 am
When men debate topics like sports or current events, it isn’t personal. You think this, I think this, I’m going to try to change your mind. Emotion doesn’t seem to come into it much.
As a woman listening to these conversations, sometimes I get so uncomfortable I have to leave the room.
LJCohen (3 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 8:33 am
Have you seen this? http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php
It’s based on some research on male/female speech patterns and is supposed to be able to tell if a section of text has been written by a man or a woman.
I did some playing around with it, putting different POV scenes through it, half from my male protag, half from my female protag and it tagged them all correctly. If nothing else, at least they have different voices!
I am really enjoying your workshop.
Annie (1 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 8:36 am
I was told by a creative writing professor that only woman said except. Example: “I want everything on my sub except hot peppers.”
Rachel Green (8 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 8:59 am
Interesting insights. Thanks
Rachel Green (8 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 9:01 am
I have to add that men generally use pointing gestures more than women, who tend toward open hands
Karen T. on July 30, 2008 at 9:24 am
I’m surprised about men using more qualifiers. Qualifiers seem to weaken sentences, but I suppose their usage could be seen as increasing the power of whatever point he’s trying to make. Sort of like making everything bigger and better. Yeah, very competitive. Interesting. I’m making note of this. Thanks.
Margay on July 30, 2008 at 9:34 am
Wow, this is an incredible insight into the male animal. I’m going to have to pay more attention next time I listen to one talk! Watch out, brother, you have officially become research!
Kathleen (3 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 10:26 am
I agree with Margay! This is a great encapsulated look at male speech. It will be useful to have this list to refer back to when I’m working with my men because sometimes I struggle with making them sound properly male!
Ronda on July 30, 2008 at 10:51 am
I’m the only woman in a musical group with five men. It is interesting to watch each of them compete for their own ideas to be heard.
Lavern on July 30, 2008 at 11:55 am
This is great information. Thanks
Jessica De Milo (2 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I find that older men look me in the eyes/face more than younger ones do. I have also noticed that the lack of encouraging mummers seems truer of heterosexual men than homosexual.
And the bit about ignoring others for control of conversation is especially true of my college professors - female instructors will steer a discussion back on topic by acknowledging a student’s thoughts and telling that student the discussion needs to move on or go a different direction etc, while male instructors will either turn back to the board or to another student for new information or another topic.
Cynnara (3 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Now this, I can use. I’ve got two male heroes in my story, and how they converse is important, especially in regards to hierarchy and showcasing their thought process.
Privately, my male talks continuously, even through tv programs and more. It’s like he can’t stand to be quiet. Do you find that men, like him, who have ADHD might be a bit more talkative, though it never relates emotionally, more storylike?
Sara (2 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 1:13 pm
This is great stuff, Cheryl. Thanks for sharing it. Looking forward to seeing you Saturday :-0
Sara
Sarai (3 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 1:33 pm
WOW this gets better and better everyday! Thanks for the insight *g*
C. on July 30, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Very interesting to read, I’m going to have to go over a few of my novels again!
Sign me up for the drawing!
Cats on July 30, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Great stuff! Thank you for sharing.
I noticed also that men tend to speak more about their achievements; they call it confidence and it’s part of being competitive in a friendly way. Whereas in groups of women, competition is simply not done, if you want to play nice. There is a book by Deborah Tannen that gives interesting insights into the dynamics of gender differences: You Just Don’t Understand.
Men also concentrate more on the facts and figures and tend not to get the hints about the relationship and the emotions. When you tell them about a problem, they often go into a problem solving mode - even if a woman simply wants them to listen.
Mary on July 30, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Now I have to wonder about myself… looks like I have a tendancy to talk like a man! Laughing
Great Lesson!
Rosalind M (3 comments.) on July 30, 2008 at 9:29 pm
How have I been missing all of this?! Now I feel paranoid about all of the other writing-related treasures I’ve been overlooking while I’m at work all day. I’m especially treasuring this mini-course, since I’m more comfortable writing from a male POV than a female one.
Natalie Hatch (4 comments.) on July 31, 2008 at 2:42 am
Ah so that’s why men don’t talk when a woman is speaking, or is it more that they’re not listening….
Angelica (6 comments.) on July 31, 2008 at 3:30 am
Thank you for putting all this on an Ebook later, it makes it so much easier not to lose this among everything else I save from the blogosphere. It’s really useful.
And on male speech, I have a big brother who usually brings his friends home. The thing about “not personal” really shows when they speak! They insult each other all the time, in a friendly way.
Learn to Write Fiction » Blog Archive » Winner of Day 3 Giveaway Book on July 31, 2008 at 7:06 am
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