Two Women Talking
Women are the great talkers of the world. We can talk at length on most any subject (whether we know much about it or not) or nothing at all… for hours. Let’s look at some of our speech habits.

Words Women Use

  • Women use more pronouns like ” I, you and she”.
  • Women also speak inclusively with words such as “you” and “we”.
  • Women tend to hint more (use gentler speech – talk around what they really mean).
  • Women say they “would like” something. “Would like” states a preference, not a demand, just in case someone disagrees with what the woman is saying. (I’ve noticed that I do this in the fast food drive-thru lane!)
  • A woman might say, “I have to go to the store.” Or even more, she might say, “I ought to.” (Whereas a man would say, “I’m going to the store.”)
  • Women tend to use qualifiers and questions, which makes them seem tentative, rather than assertive.
  • Women tend to use less profanity.
  • Women tend to use quantifiers and often have other meaning in what they say.

Talking Habits

  • Women tend to talk more at home and less in public situations.
  • Women are more inclined to face each other and make eye contact when talking.
  • When listening, women make more noises such as “mm-hmm” and “uh-huh” to encourage the speaker to continue talking.
  • Women are inclined to express agreement and support.
  • Women establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationships.
  • In women-only discussions, women reveal a lot about their private lives. They also stick to one topic for a long time, let all speakers finish their sentences and try to have everyone participate.
  • “Girl talk” often entails the rapid disclosure of details, with the expectation of immediate and enthusiastic reciprocation.
  • Women use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking.
  • When women get together they seek the input of the other women present and make decisions based on the wishes of all.
  • Women often show understanding by finishing each other’s sentences or chiming in on the end of each other’s sentences, but this will often be only an expression of support, and the first woman will still have the floor.
  • Women are better at reading emotions and therefore better at manipulating others with an appropriate lie. They also tell more complicated lies than men.

Women’s Conversation Around Men

  • Women who are otherwise liberated and articulate can be heard uttering inanities like “Oh, really” and “How fascinating” in support of a male in mid-narrative. They will nod their heads, smile a lot, assume sympathetic expressions and, most important, keep their gaze fixed unwaveringly on the speaker’s face.
  • Women temper their speech by adding qualifiers and deferring to the men in the conversation (often without being aware of it).

Topics of Conversation

  • Women’s dialogue tends to be more socially-driven or emotionally driven.
  • Women are more comfortable talking or thinking about people and relationships because, to their minds, it shows support and empathy for the people they are discussing. (Where as men often find such personal discussion about others to be rude or gossipy).
  • Women are better multi-taskers and can switch topics swiftly, and often, in a conversation and still maintain the thread of the discussion.

Have you noticed any of these characteristics in yourself or the women around you? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female speech, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Male Thinking – exactly how does a man’s brain work?

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