Female Body Language

Women. Sugar and spice and everything nice… Well, I’d like to think so, since I am one. And as a woman, I think we’re pretty easy to understand. But if you’re a man trying to write a female character, it may not be so easy. Here are some tips on how women behave (in general, mind you) to get you started.

Hi, How Are You?

  • Women smile far more than men in both social and business situations.
  • Women are four times more likely to touch another woman than a man is to touch another man. This can mean touching on the hand, arm, shoulder, hugging, etc.
  • Women stand slightly closer to one another, face each other more, and touch more than men do with other men.
  • Women who want to draw attention to themselves put their hands on their hips combined with a pelvic tilt. May also put just one hand on the hip and gesture with the other.
  • Women are four times more likely to mirror another woman (copy her gestures or body posture) than a man is to mirror another man. Women also mirror men’s body language (whereas men don’t mirror women, unless they’re attracted to her).

You Want Me to Give a Presentation To How Many People?

  • In stressful situations, women may cross one arm across the body to hold or touch the other arm as if she is hugging herself.
  • Anxious or self-conscious women use their handbags or purses to cross their arms in front of her body.
  • Shy and timid women will cross their legs and then wrap the foot of the top leg around behind the other so her legs are entwined.

Wow, He’s Hot…

  • Women laugh at men they’re attracted to, his jokes or witty comments. (With him, not AT him, as if he’s ridiculous.)
  • Women tend to keep their arms more open when they are around men they find attractive. (And are likely to fold their arms across their breasts around aggressive or unattractive men.)
  • A woman will place one hand on top of the other and rest her face upon it, presenting her face to a man to attract his attention and for him to admire it. (This usually occurs when the woman is seated at a table or desk and has something to rest her elbows on.)

Other signals that she is interested:

  • Head toss and hair flick backed over the shoulders or away from the face
  • Wet lips and pouting mouth, slightly open
  • Self-touching, like stroking thigh, neck or throat
  • Limp wrist as submission signal (also signals vulnerability and arouses a man’s protective instincts)
  • Fondling a cylindrical object, like a pen, pencil, lipstick case, etc.
  • Exposed wrists–sign of vulnerability. May be combined with hair flick or toying with an object.
  • Sideways glance over raised shoulder
  • Rolling hips when she walks
  • Pelvic tilt – emphasizes waist to hip ratio (a waist that is 70% of the hip size is most attractive to men)
  • Places handbag in close proximity to the man – A woman’s purse is a personal item that’s treated by her as almost an extension of her body. If she finds him attractive she may slowly fondle and caress her handbag, ask him to pass it to her or retrieve something from it.
  • Knee point – one leg tucked under the other and pointing to the person she finds most interesting
  • Shoe fondle – dangling the shoe on the end of the foot and thrusts foot in and out of it
  • Leg twine – one leg crossed over the other and pressed against it
  • Constantly cross and uncross her legs when she’s with a man she fancies to draw attention to her legs

Hello, It’s Good To Meet You
Women fear attack from behind and are wary of approaches from the rear. If you’re approaching a woman for the first time, walk towards her from the front or side, not from behind.

Do You Have a Light?

  • When women smoke they will often hold the cigarette high with their wrist bent back in a wrist display gesture, leaving the front of the body open.
  • If she is with a man that she is interested in, she may ask him for a light and then lean forward and touch his hand as he lights her cigarette. The act of lighting gives her a reason to touch him, another courtship signal.
  • Twice as many women smoke as men, but they don’t hold the smoke in their lungs as long as men.

These are some general behaviors that you can use for women in your story. Keep in mind that these are general behaviors. Some women will use them consciously and deliberately (Marilyn Monroe knew all the courtship signals and used them frequently). Other women may use only a few and quite inexpertly.

Have you observed interesting body language in the females you know? Leave a comment with your thoughts.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Chapter After Chapter by Heather Sellers

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female body language, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic is Male Speech – when you can get a man to talk, what does he say?

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

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