I apologize for the delay in getting this posted today. Had a lot of good material to add from the comments.

The eBook is here. To download, just right-click on the link and choose Save Target As.

Thank you again to all the great writers who participated in the course this week. It’s been a pleasure!

Women sometimes get a reputation for being scatter-brained, or worse, empty-headed. (All those blonde jokes…) But the truth is that women have very unique brains that are well-suited to the traditional roles that women have played through the millenia.

This is Her Brain…

The female brain is organized for multi-tracking. The average woman can juggle between two and four unrelated topics at the same time.

It is reported that a woman’s brain has a larger corpus callosum, which means women can transfer data between the right and left hemisphere faster than men. Men tend to be more left brained, while women have greater access to both sides.

Because of greater access to the right hemisphere (which is associated with nuance, reading social cues, and deception detection), women are much better at knowing when things are awry.

• Wives call marital therapists nine times out of ten when there is relational trouble.
• Mothers call child therapists nine times out of ten when children are struggling.
• Women can also spot a man lying to her much faster than a man catches his wife in a lie.
• Mothers are also better at catching kids in lies.

Women are able to use both sides of their brain for language, so they tend to be more fluent, which may be why they have more to say.

When husbands and wives get into arguments, their hemisphere activation styles (men = left brain, women = both right and left) often make problems worse. Because women use more words, men often become overwhelmed in disagreements and say insensitive things like “What’s the point?” or “Specifically what do you want?”.

These statements infuriate women and make communication even tougher. They know the point, they just have a harder time articulating it succinctly due to the extra input from the right side.

The limbic system, or emotional brain, tends to be larger in women. The limbic system is the emotional bonding center of the brain.

• It is no accident that women in overwhelming numbers are the primary caretakers for children.
• Women are primary caretakers for the elderly. Seventy percent of elderly people who need care get it from a woman.
• Women tend to have more friends in life, they go to church more often than men, and they pray (bonding with God) more than men.

Women have a larger nesting instinct than men. They have a greater biological need to have their houses in order. When a couple moves to a new house or apartment, it is generally the woman who feels unsettled until everything is put away. Women are usually primary caretakers for the home and take on the bulk of housework.

With the larger limbic size comes a greater incidence of depression. After puberty, females are three times more likely to develop depression than males.

Typically the woman’s brain is very active. Thinking, thinking, thinking, especially in the emotional part of the brain. A woman’s brain is always working.

Why do women always want to talk? Researchers have found that connecting with another through talking will trigger the pleasure centers in a woman’s brain, a high second only to an orgasm.

A 20-second hug will trigger the release of oxytocin in a woman’s brain. The effect of this chemical will often give the woman a feeling of trust in the person hugging her.

Women have between fourteen and sixteen areas of the brain to evaluate others’ behavior (versus a man’s four to six areas). This explains how a woman can attend a dinner party and rapidly work out the state of the relationships of other couples at the party-who’s had an argument, who likes who, and so on.

This is Her Brain At Work…

Women are more perceptive than men. Called women’s intuition, they have the innate ability to pick up and decipher nonverbal signals, and have an accurate eye for small details.

Women are more able to focus on specific stimuli, such as a baby crying in the night.

Women generally can recall lists of words or paragraphs of text better than men.

Women are better at:

• recognizing emotional overtones in other people and in language
• emotional and artistic expressiveness
• esthetic appreciation
• verbal language
• carrying out detailed and pre-planned tasks
• empathy
• social skills
• security-seeking

From all these facts, a woman’s head obviously isn’t empty. Instead there’s a lot going on in there. It’s easy to see why men and women sometimes have trouble getting along when you look at the differences in how our brains are made. If you’re creating a female character for a story, try using some of these facts to take advantage of her unique female qualities.

This is the end of the Gender Differences Workshop. I hope you’ve had as much fun exploring male and female diversity as I have. I’ll be gathering up all of these posts and putting them into a free ebook that you can download and use for reference when you’re writing. It’ll be available on Sunday.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of The Right to Write by Julia Cameron

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female speech, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Don’t want to miss a post? Have new posts delivered straight to your inbox or to your browser or RSS reader. You can subscribe in the upper right hand corner of the page.

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

There’s much we still don’t know about how our brains work. But scientists continue to do studies to determine how our brains work and why and we learn more each day. Here are some of the findings from different studies about how a man’s brain works:

This Is His Brain…

The parietal lobe at the top back part of the brain is said to be larger in men, especially the left side. This part of the brain:

• estimates time
• judges speed
• visualizes objects in 3-D (such as catching a football thrown toward you)
• solves math problems

Our direction sense is influenced by this part of the brain, which may indicate why men are usually better at directions.

Men have 4% more brain cells than women, and about 100 grams more of brain tissue. (So men need more brain tissue in order to get the same things done as women?)

Male language is most often just in the dominant hemisphere (usually the left side) which results in their conversation being more detail-oriented and more directly to the point.

In the event of stroke or a brain injury, men who have left-sided damage are less likely to recover as fully as women, with similar injuries, who use both sides of the brain for language.

A man’s brain, in comparison to a woman’s, is relatively quiet. It needs stimulation.

This Is His Brain On Testosterone…

Because of the brain differences, and the extra testosterone, men tend to be higher in:

• independence
• dominance
• spatial and mathematical skills
• rank-related aggression

Men have only four to six areas of the brain to evaluate others’ behavior (where women have between fourteen and sixteen areas) which explains why men find it harder to read facial expressions and body language.

Men find it difficult to interpret the more subtle cues in women’s body language. Research shows that men tend to mistake friendliness and smiling for sexual interest.

Men see the world in more sexual terms than women because they have ten to twenty times more testosterone.

In one study, when asked to think of nothing men’s brains were more active in the more primitive physical activity centers of the brain (cerebellum). Left to themselves, men will think about sex, their golf swing, or their jump shot.

The average man will think about sex as often as once a minute.

Does this offer any clues as to why the men in your life act so strangely sometimes? It explained a few things to me. Do you know of any other brain-related differences between males and females? Share them in the comments.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female speech, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Female Thinking – exactly how does a woman’s brain work?

Don’t want to miss a post? Have new posts delivered straight to your inbox or to your browser or RSS reader. You can subscribe in the upper right hand corner of the page.

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

Women are the great talkers of the world. We can talk at length on most any subject (whether we know much about it or not) or nothing at all… for hours. Let’s look at some of our speech habits.

Words Women Use

• Women use more pronouns like ” I, you and she”.
• Women also speak inclusively with words such as “you” and “we”.
• Women tend to hint more (use gentler speech – talk around what they really mean).
• Women say they “would like” something. “Would like” states a preference, not a demand, just in case someone disagrees with what the woman is saying. (I’ve noticed that I do this in the fast food drive-thru lane!)
• A woman might say, “I have to go to the store.” Or even more, she might say, “I ought to.” (Whereas a man would say, “I’m going to the store.”)
• Women tend to use qualifiers and questions, which makes them seem tentative, rather than assertive.
• Women tend to use less profanity.
• Women tend to use quantifiers and often have other meaning in what they say.

Talking Habits

• Women tend to talk more at home and less in public situations.
• Women are more inclined to face each other and make eye contact when talking.
• When listening, women make more noises such as “mm-hmm” and “uh-huh” to encourage the speaker to continue talking.
• Women are inclined to express agreement and support.
• Women establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationships.
• In women-only discussions, women reveal a lot about their private lives. They also stick to one topic for a long time, let all speakers finish their sentences and try to have everyone participate.
• “Girl talk” often entails the rapid disclosure of details, with the expectation of immediate and enthusiastic reciprocation.
• Women use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking.
• When women get together they seek the input of the other women present and make decisions based on the wishes of all.
• Women often show understanding by finishing each other’s sentences or chiming in on the end of each other’s sentences, but this will often be only an expression of support, and the first woman will still have the floor.
• Women are better at reading emotions and therefore better at manipulating others with an appropriate lie. They also tell more complicated lies than men.

Women’s Conversation Around Men

• Women who are otherwise liberated and articulate can be heard uttering inanities like “Oh, really” and “How fascinating” in support of a male in mid-narrative. They will nod their heads, smile a lot, assume sympathetic expressions and, most important, keep their gaze fixed unwaveringly on the speaker’s face.
• Women temper their speech by adding qualifiers and deferring to the men in the conversation (often without being aware of it).

Topics of Conversation

• Women’s dialogue tends to be more socially-driven or emotionally driven.
• Women are more comfortable talking or thinking about people and relationships because, to their minds, it shows support and empathy for the people they are discussing. (Where as men often find such personal discussion about others to be rude or gossipy).
• Women are better multi-taskers and can switch topics swiftly, and often, in a conversation and still maintain the thread of the discussion.

Have you noticed any of these characteristics in yourself or the women around you? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female speech, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Male Thinking – exactly how does a man’s brain work?

Don’t want to miss a post? Have new posts delivered straight to your inbox or to your browser or RSS reader. You can subscribe in the upper right hand corner of the page.

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

Many women would tell you there is no such thing as Male Speech patterns. Getting a man to talk at all can be rare, as many wives might say. But men do talk, they just talk less than women do. And the words they use can be different, as well.

Words Men Use

• Men use words like “want”–demands and commands, rather than requests.
• Men prefer so-called determiners — ”a,” ”the,” ”that,” ”these” — along with more numbers in their speech.
• Men use more qualifiers, like “very, a lot, a little, a little bit, more and some.”
• Men slur words together. “I hafta gota the store”.
• Men tend to be more blunt and to the point. No superfluous words or phrases. Nothing extra.
• Their dialogue is always action or goal oriented. They don’t wait for stuff to happen to them. If they see a problem, their first instinct is to go DO SOMETHING to fix it.
• Will use sports and business metaphors in their conversation.

Talking Habits

• Men tend to talk more than women in public situations.
• Men are more likely to look away from each other while talking.
• Men are more likely to listen silently when other men are talking with no sounds or murmurs to encourage the other man to keep talking.
• Men are more inclined to debate during a conversation.
• Men use conversation to negotiate status in the group, to keep people from pushing them around and to preserve their independence

Tools Men Use for Gaining an Audience and Control of the Conversation:

• Interrupting another speaker
• More likely to challenge or dispute what other people say
• More likely to ignore others
• Males tend to interact in more crude ways also. While in a group situation narratives such as jokes and stories are highly valued, especially when they are well performed for an audience.

Topics of Conversation

• The male verbal strategy is to divulge as few personal details as possible, while assiduously avoiding all expressions of emotion that could be interpreted as weakness.
• Rarely talk about their personal relationships and feelings but may compete to prove themselves better informed about current affairs, travel, sports, etc..
• Topics change often in a group of men and the men may try to establish a reasonably stable hierarchy, with some men dominating conversation and others talking very little.
• Often seek straightforward solutions to problems and useful advice.
• Men usually monologue at each other and at women. Conversation is not an exchange of ideas; it’s a competition.

Does it sound like men are inconsiderate conversational partners? They’re not. Their brains and biochemistry are just wired a certain way (which we’ll talk about in a couple of days) and that biology helps to promote their conversational habits. Try using some of these suggestions for your next male character to give him a hint of typical male conversation.

Have you observed any specific male speech patterns in the men around you? Leave a comment and share your observations with us.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Sometimes The Magic Works–Lessons From a Writing Life by Terry Brooks

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on male speech, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Female Speech – why do women talk so much?

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

Women. Sugar and spice and everything nice… Well, I’d like to think so, since I am one. And as a woman, I think we’re pretty easy to understand. But if you’re a man trying to write a female character, it may not be so easy. Here are some tips on how women behave (in general, mind you) to get you started.

Hi, How Are You?

• Women smile far more than men in both social and business situations.
• Women are four times more likely to touch another woman than a man is to touch another man. This can mean touching on the hand, arm, shoulder, hugging, etc.
• Women stand slightly closer to one another, face each other more, and touch more than men do with other men.
• Women who want to draw attention to themselves put their hands on their hips combined with a pelvic tilt. May also put just one hand on the hip and gesture with the other.
• Women are four times more likely to mirror another woman (copy her gestures or body posture) than a man is to mirror another man. Women also mirror men’s body language (whereas men don’t mirror women, unless they’re attracted to her).

You Want Me to Give a Presentation To How Many People?

• In stressful situations, women may cross one arm across the body to hold or touch the other arm as if she is hugging herself.
• Anxious or self-conscious women use their handbags or purses to cross their arms in front of her body.
• Shy and timid women will cross their legs and then wrap the foot of the top leg around behind the other so her legs are entwined.

Wow, He’s Hot…

• Women laugh at men they’re attracted to, his jokes or witty comments. (With him, not AT him, as if he’s ridiculous.)
• Women tend to keep their arms more open when they are around men they find attractive. (And are likely to fold their arms across their breasts around aggressive or unattractive men.)
• A woman will place one hand on top of the other and rest her face upon it, presenting her face to a man to attract his attention and for him to admire it. (This usually occurs when the woman is seated at a table or desk and has something to rest her elbows on.)

Other signals that she is interested:

• Head toss and hair flick backed over the shoulders or away from the face
• Wet lips and pouting mouth, slightly open
• Self-touching, like stroking thigh, neck or throat
• Limp wrist as submission signal (also signals vulnerability and arouses a man’s protective instincts)
• Fondling a cylindrical object, like a pen, pencil, lipstick case, etc.
• Exposed wrists–sign of vulnerability. May be combined with hair flick or toying with an object.
• Sideways glance over raised shoulder
• Rolling hips when she walks
• Pelvic tilt – emphasizes waist to hip ratio (a waist that is 70% of the hip size is most attractive to men)
• Places handbag in close proximity to the man – A woman’s purse is a personal item that’s treated by her as almost an extension of her body. If she finds him attractive she may slowly fondle and caress her handbag, ask him to pass it to her or retrieve something from it.
• Knee point – one leg tucked under the other and pointing to the person she finds most interesting
• Shoe fondle – dangling the shoe on the end of the foot and thrusts foot in and out of it
• Leg twine – one leg crossed over the other and pressed against it
• Constantly cross and uncross her legs when she’s with a man she fancies to draw attention to her legs

Hello, It’s Good To Meet You
Women fear attack from behind and are wary of approaches from the rear. If you’re approaching a woman for the first time, walk towards her from the front or side, not from behind.

Do You Have a Light?

• When women smoke they will often hold the cigarette high with their wrist bent back in a wrist display gesture, leaving the front of the body open.
• If she is with a man that she is interested in, she may ask him for a light and then lean forward and touch his hand as he lights her cigarette. The act of lighting gives her a reason to touch him, another courtship signal.
• Twice as many women smoke as men, but they don’t hold the smoke in their lungs as long as men.

These are some general behaviors that you can use for women in your story. Keep in mind that these are general behaviors. Some women will use them consciously and deliberately (Marilyn Monroe knew all the courtship signals and used them frequently). Other women may use only a few and quite inexpertly.

Have you observed interesting body language in the females you know? Leave a comment with your thoughts.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Chapter After Chapter by Heather Sellers

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female body language, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic is Male Speech – when you can get a man to talk, what does he say?

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

Men. They come in all shapes, sizes and attitudes, and you can’t assume they’re all alike. (Stereotyping is evil!) But there are a few common behaviors that you can use in your story that definitely shout “MAN”.

Master of All I Survey

• Men often stand with their legs apart, both feet firmly on the ground. This is a dominant posture. Other men will usually mirror it (meaning copy the same stance) in response.
• Thumbs tucked into the belt or top of the pockets, framing the genital area – used to show a sexually aggressive attitude.
• Head up, chin out, one hand holding the other behind the back – used by men in positions of authority.
• Leg over the arm of the chair – signals an informal aggressive attitude
• Straddling a backwards facing chair – allows a man to dominate and control the situation, as well as shield his front from figurative or verbal attacks.
• Leaning back in chair, arms clasped behind the head, elbows out – signals intent to intimidate or a state of relaxation. It’s also used as a “know-it-all” gesture and a territorial sign – “I own this chair/area.”

Uh, I’m Not Sure…
In stressful situations, men will hold both hands in front of themselves in the protective “Broken Zipper” position.

An anxious or self-conscious man will…

• adjust the band of his watch
• check the contents of his wallet
• clasp or rub his hands together
• play with a button on his cuff or use any gesture that lets his arms cross in front of his body

Baby, You Look Good…
When approaching or near a woman he’s interested in, a man may use the following signals:

• Preening behavior – straightens his tie, smoothes his collar, brushes imaginary dust from his shoulder, touches his cufflinks or watch, rearranges his shirt, coat and other clothing
• Thumbs in Belt gesture – highlights crotch area and emphasizes his sexuality
• Turns body toward her, will shift stance until his foot points toward her
• Uses an intimate gaze and holds her gaze longer than usual
• When seated or leaning against a wall, may spread his legs to display his crotch
• Crotch adjustment – any movement that “adjusts” this area
• Wearing a tie to one side and a little lint on one shoulder – any woman who finds him attractive can’t resist straightening the tie and brushing off the lint
• May mirror a woman’s gestures or posture (men only mirror women when in courtship mode)

Back Off, Dude…
Men fear attack from the front and are more wary of a frontal approach. Never stand front-on with a male you have just met. He perceives it as aggression from a man and sexual interest from a woman. For a friendly start to the conversation, approach from the side.

Uh… What Did You Say?
Men can make fewer than a third of the facial expressions a woman can make due to how their brain is programmed to express emotion. Men usually hold expressionless faces, especially in public, to appear to be in control of their emotions and to stave off possible attack from strangers who might perceive weakness in an emotional display.

Can I Bum a Smoke?
Smoking is becoming a lot less common these days as new laws continue to restrict where smokers can indulge their habit. If one of your male characters smokes, here are some things to keep in mind:

• When men smoke they keep their wrist straight to avoid looking effeminate and drop their smoking hand down below chest level after they puff, keeping the front of the body protected at all times.
• Men hold the smoke in their lungs longer than women do.
• Men commonly use the Pinch Hold, pinching it between their index finger and thumb, keeping the cigarette hidden inside the palm.

These suggestions should give you a place to start when portraying a male character’s behavior. Keep in mind that all men are not the same (duh, right?) so use these as general guidelines. And please give me your perspective on male behavior. Have you noticed any repetitive body language habits in the guys around you? Leave a comment to share your thoughts.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Lessons From a Lifetime of Writing by David Morrell

As part of the workshop, I’ll be giving away a book on writing each day–each one is a favorite of mine that I’ve enjoyed reading over and over. I hope you will enjoy them as well.

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on male body language, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Female Body Language – how to know what she’s thinking by watching her

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

My next virtual workshop is Gender Differences for Writers, starting on Monday, July 28. It’s part of Paperback Writer’s Left Behind and Loving It week of virtual workshops. Be sure to check out her site for a list of the other great workshops happening this week.

Gender Differences for Writers
If your male characters sound like girls (but with facial hair), this workshop is for you. If you’re unsure how to craft realistic dialogue for the opposite sex, this workshop is for you. If you wonder why the men (or women) in your life do what they do and seem to be from another galaxy, this workshop is for you!

Here’s the daily schedule you can look forward to:

Male Body Language – July 28
Female Body Language – July 29
Male Speech – July 30
Female Speech – July 31
Male Thinking – August 1
Female Thinking – August 2

On August 3, I’ll have an eBook of the entire course available for free download. It will contain the daily posts, quick summary lists to use when writing, and extra resources you can use for more information on male and female differences.

In addition, each day will have a giveaway of one of my favorite writing books. Everyone who participates in the workshop by commenting on that day’s post will be entered into the drawing for that day’s book giveaway. Details will be included in each daily post. Each giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you win something on a different day in the workshop.

Be sure to check in each day to learn some new things about men and women and to enter the daily giveaway. To make sure you don’t miss a day, sign up for the RSS feed (link is in the upper right corner of the blog) and have the new posts delivered to you.

See you on Monday for the start of the workshop!