And the lucky winner of the Day 3 Giveaway book Sometimes the Magic Works: Lessons From a Writing Life by Terry Brooks is Margay!

Congratulations, Margay! I’ll send you an email to get your address particulars for sending the book.

Remember, today’s giveaway book is If You Want To Write by Brenda Ueland.

To enter the giveaway, just comment on today’s lesson post – Female Speech with your thoughts on the post or just throw your name in the hat. The giveaway details are listed at the bottom of that post.

Women are the great talkers of the world. We can talk at length on most any subject (whether we know much about it or not) or nothing at all… for hours. Let’s look at some of our speech habits.

Words Women Use

• Women use more pronouns like ” I, you and she”.
• Women also speak inclusively with words such as “you” and “we”.
• Women tend to hint more (use gentler speech – talk around what they really mean).
• Women say they “would like” something. “Would like” states a preference, not a demand, just in case someone disagrees with what the woman is saying. (I’ve noticed that I do this in the fast food drive-thru lane!)
• A woman might say, “I have to go to the store.” Or even more, she might say, “I ought to.” (Whereas a man would say, “I’m going to the store.”)
• Women tend to use qualifiers and questions, which makes them seem tentative, rather than assertive.
• Women tend to use less profanity.
• Women tend to use quantifiers and often have other meaning in what they say.

Talking Habits

• Women tend to talk more at home and less in public situations.
• Women are more inclined to face each other and make eye contact when talking.
• When listening, women make more noises such as “mm-hmm” and “uh-huh” to encourage the speaker to continue talking.
• Women are inclined to express agreement and support.
• Women establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationships.
• In women-only discussions, women reveal a lot about their private lives. They also stick to one topic for a long time, let all speakers finish their sentences and try to have everyone participate.
• “Girl talk” often entails the rapid disclosure of details, with the expectation of immediate and enthusiastic reciprocation.
• Women use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking.
• When women get together they seek the input of the other women present and make decisions based on the wishes of all.
• Women often show understanding by finishing each other’s sentences or chiming in on the end of each other’s sentences, but this will often be only an expression of support, and the first woman will still have the floor.
• Women are better at reading emotions and therefore better at manipulating others with an appropriate lie. They also tell more complicated lies than men.

Women’s Conversation Around Men

• Women who are otherwise liberated and articulate can be heard uttering inanities like “Oh, really” and “How fascinating” in support of a male in mid-narrative. They will nod their heads, smile a lot, assume sympathetic expressions and, most important, keep their gaze fixed unwaveringly on the speaker’s face.
• Women temper their speech by adding qualifiers and deferring to the men in the conversation (often without being aware of it).

Topics of Conversation

• Women’s dialogue tends to be more socially-driven or emotionally driven.
• Women are more comfortable talking or thinking about people and relationships because, to their minds, it shows support and empathy for the people they are discussing. (Where as men often find such personal discussion about others to be rude or gossipy).
• Women are better multi-taskers and can switch topics swiftly, and often, in a conversation and still maintain the thread of the discussion.

Have you noticed any of these characteristics in yourself or the women around you? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female speech, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Male Thinking – exactly how does a man’s brain work?

Don’t want to miss a post? Have new posts delivered straight to your inbox or to your browser or RSS reader. You can subscribe in the upper right hand corner of the page.

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

And the lucky winner of the Day 2 Giveaway book Chapter After Chapter by Heather Sellers is…Kathleen!

Congratulations, Kathleen! I’ll send you an email to get your address particulars for sending the book.

Remember, today’s giveaway book is Sometimes the Magic Works: Lessons From a Writing Life by Terry Brooks.

To enter the giveaway, just comment on today’s lesson post – Male Speech with your thoughts on the post or just throw your name in the hat. The giveaway details are listed at the bottom of that post.

Many women would tell you there is no such thing as Male Speech patterns. Getting a man to talk at all can be rare, as many wives might say. But men do talk, they just talk less than women do. And the words they use can be different, as well.

Words Men Use

• Men use words like “want”–demands and commands, rather than requests.
• Men prefer so-called determiners — ”a,” ”the,” ”that,” ”these” — along with more numbers in their speech.
• Men use more qualifiers, like “very, a lot, a little, a little bit, more and some.”
• Men slur words together. “I hafta gota the store”.
• Men tend to be more blunt and to the point. No superfluous words or phrases. Nothing extra.
• Their dialogue is always action or goal oriented. They don’t wait for stuff to happen to them. If they see a problem, their first instinct is to go DO SOMETHING to fix it.
• Will use sports and business metaphors in their conversation.

Talking Habits

• Men tend to talk more than women in public situations.
• Men are more likely to look away from each other while talking.
• Men are more likely to listen silently when other men are talking with no sounds or murmurs to encourage the other man to keep talking.
• Men are more inclined to debate during a conversation.
• Men use conversation to negotiate status in the group, to keep people from pushing them around and to preserve their independence

Tools Men Use for Gaining an Audience and Control of the Conversation:

• Interrupting another speaker
• More likely to challenge or dispute what other people say
• More likely to ignore others
• Males tend to interact in more crude ways also. While in a group situation narratives such as jokes and stories are highly valued, especially when they are well performed for an audience.

Topics of Conversation

• The male verbal strategy is to divulge as few personal details as possible, while assiduously avoiding all expressions of emotion that could be interpreted as weakness.
• Rarely talk about their personal relationships and feelings but may compete to prove themselves better informed about current affairs, travel, sports, etc..
• Topics change often in a group of men and the men may try to establish a reasonably stable hierarchy, with some men dominating conversation and others talking very little.
• Often seek straightforward solutions to problems and useful advice.
• Men usually monologue at each other and at women. Conversation is not an exchange of ideas; it’s a competition.

Does it sound like men are inconsiderate conversational partners? They’re not. Their brains and biochemistry are just wired a certain way (which we’ll talk about in a couple of days) and that biology helps to promote their conversational habits. Try using some of these suggestions for your next male character to give him a hint of typical male conversation.

Have you observed any specific male speech patterns in the men around you? Leave a comment and share your observations with us.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Sometimes The Magic Works–Lessons From a Writing Life by Terry Brooks

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on male speech, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Female Speech – why do women talk so much?

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

And the lucky winner of the Day 1 Giveaway book Lessons From a Lifetime of Writing by David Morrell is…. Shannon!

Congratulations, Shannon! I’ll send you an email to get your address particulars for sending the book.

Remember, today’s giveaway book is Chapter After Chapter by Heather Sellers.

To enter the giveaway, just comment on today’s lesson post – Female Body Language with your thoughts on the post or just throw your name in the hat. The giveaway details are listed at the bottom of that post.

Women. Sugar and spice and everything nice… Well, I’d like to think so, since I am one. And as a woman, I think we’re pretty easy to understand. But if you’re a man trying to write a female character, it may not be so easy. Here are some tips on how women behave (in general, mind you) to get you started.

Hi, How Are You?

• Women smile far more than men in both social and business situations.
• Women are four times more likely to touch another woman than a man is to touch another man. This can mean touching on the hand, arm, shoulder, hugging, etc.
• Women stand slightly closer to one another, face each other more, and touch more than men do with other men.
• Women who want to draw attention to themselves put their hands on their hips combined with a pelvic tilt. May also put just one hand on the hip and gesture with the other.
• Women are four times more likely to mirror another woman (copy her gestures or body posture) than a man is to mirror another man. Women also mirror men’s body language (whereas men don’t mirror women, unless they’re attracted to her).

You Want Me to Give a Presentation To How Many People?

• In stressful situations, women may cross one arm across the body to hold or touch the other arm as if she is hugging herself.
• Anxious or self-conscious women use their handbags or purses to cross their arms in front of her body.
• Shy and timid women will cross their legs and then wrap the foot of the top leg around behind the other so her legs are entwined.

Wow, He’s Hot…

• Women laugh at men they’re attracted to, his jokes or witty comments. (With him, not AT him, as if he’s ridiculous.)
• Women tend to keep their arms more open when they are around men they find attractive. (And are likely to fold their arms across their breasts around aggressive or unattractive men.)
• A woman will place one hand on top of the other and rest her face upon it, presenting her face to a man to attract his attention and for him to admire it. (This usually occurs when the woman is seated at a table or desk and has something to rest her elbows on.)

Other signals that she is interested:

• Head toss and hair flick backed over the shoulders or away from the face
• Wet lips and pouting mouth, slightly open
• Self-touching, like stroking thigh, neck or throat
• Limp wrist as submission signal (also signals vulnerability and arouses a man’s protective instincts)
• Fondling a cylindrical object, like a pen, pencil, lipstick case, etc.
• Exposed wrists–sign of vulnerability. May be combined with hair flick or toying with an object.
• Sideways glance over raised shoulder
• Rolling hips when she walks
• Pelvic tilt – emphasizes waist to hip ratio (a waist that is 70% of the hip size is most attractive to men)
• Places handbag in close proximity to the man – A woman’s purse is a personal item that’s treated by her as almost an extension of her body. If she finds him attractive she may slowly fondle and caress her handbag, ask him to pass it to her or retrieve something from it.
• Knee point – one leg tucked under the other and pointing to the person she finds most interesting
• Shoe fondle – dangling the shoe on the end of the foot and thrusts foot in and out of it
• Leg twine – one leg crossed over the other and pressed against it
• Constantly cross and uncross her legs when she’s with a man she fancies to draw attention to her legs

Hello, It’s Good To Meet You
Women fear attack from behind and are wary of approaches from the rear. If you’re approaching a woman for the first time, walk towards her from the front or side, not from behind.

Do You Have a Light?

• When women smoke they will often hold the cigarette high with their wrist bent back in a wrist display gesture, leaving the front of the body open.
• If she is with a man that she is interested in, she may ask him for a light and then lean forward and touch his hand as he lights her cigarette. The act of lighting gives her a reason to touch him, another courtship signal.
• Twice as many women smoke as men, but they don’t hold the smoke in their lungs as long as men.

These are some general behaviors that you can use for women in your story. Keep in mind that these are general behaviors. Some women will use them consciously and deliberately (Marilyn Monroe knew all the courtship signals and used them frequently). Other women may use only a few and quite inexpertly.

Have you observed interesting body language in the females you know? Leave a comment with your thoughts.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Chapter After Chapter by Heather Sellers

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on female body language, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic is Male Speech – when you can get a man to talk, what does he say?

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

Men. They come in all shapes, sizes and attitudes, and you can’t assume they’re all alike. (Stereotyping is evil!) But there are a few common behaviors that you can use in your story that definitely shout “MAN”.

Master of All I Survey

• Men often stand with their legs apart, both feet firmly on the ground. This is a dominant posture. Other men will usually mirror it (meaning copy the same stance) in response.
• Thumbs tucked into the belt or top of the pockets, framing the genital area – used to show a sexually aggressive attitude.
• Head up, chin out, one hand holding the other behind the back – used by men in positions of authority.
• Leg over the arm of the chair – signals an informal aggressive attitude
• Straddling a backwards facing chair – allows a man to dominate and control the situation, as well as shield his front from figurative or verbal attacks.
• Leaning back in chair, arms clasped behind the head, elbows out – signals intent to intimidate or a state of relaxation. It’s also used as a “know-it-all” gesture and a territorial sign – “I own this chair/area.”

Uh, I’m Not Sure…
In stressful situations, men will hold both hands in front of themselves in the protective “Broken Zipper” position.

An anxious or self-conscious man will…

• adjust the band of his watch
• check the contents of his wallet
• clasp or rub his hands together
• play with a button on his cuff or use any gesture that lets his arms cross in front of his body

Baby, You Look Good…
When approaching or near a woman he’s interested in, a man may use the following signals:

• Preening behavior – straightens his tie, smoothes his collar, brushes imaginary dust from his shoulder, touches his cufflinks or watch, rearranges his shirt, coat and other clothing
• Thumbs in Belt gesture – highlights crotch area and emphasizes his sexuality
• Turns body toward her, will shift stance until his foot points toward her
• Uses an intimate gaze and holds her gaze longer than usual
• When seated or leaning against a wall, may spread his legs to display his crotch
• Crotch adjustment – any movement that “adjusts” this area
• Wearing a tie to one side and a little lint on one shoulder – any woman who finds him attractive can’t resist straightening the tie and brushing off the lint
• May mirror a woman’s gestures or posture (men only mirror women when in courtship mode)

Back Off, Dude…
Men fear attack from the front and are more wary of a frontal approach. Never stand front-on with a male you have just met. He perceives it as aggression from a man and sexual interest from a woman. For a friendly start to the conversation, approach from the side.

Uh… What Did You Say?
Men can make fewer than a third of the facial expressions a woman can make due to how their brain is programmed to express emotion. Men usually hold expressionless faces, especially in public, to appear to be in control of their emotions and to stave off possible attack from strangers who might perceive weakness in an emotional display.

Can I Bum a Smoke?
Smoking is becoming a lot less common these days as new laws continue to restrict where smokers can indulge their habit. If one of your male characters smokes, here are some things to keep in mind:

• When men smoke they keep their wrist straight to avoid looking effeminate and drop their smoking hand down below chest level after they puff, keeping the front of the body protected at all times.
• Men hold the smoke in their lungs longer than women do.
• Men commonly use the Pinch Hold, pinching it between their index finger and thumb, keeping the cigarette hidden inside the palm.

These suggestions should give you a place to start when portraying a male character’s behavior. Keep in mind that all men are not the same (duh, right?) so use these as general guidelines. And please give me your perspective on male behavior. Have you noticed any repetitive body language habits in the guys around you? Leave a comment to share your thoughts.

Today’s Giveaway: a copy of Lessons From a Lifetime of Writing by David Morrell

As part of the workshop, I’ll be giving away a book on writing each day–each one is a favorite of mine that I’ve enjoyed reading over and over. I hope you will enjoy them as well.

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment on today’s post. (If you don’t want to be entered for the drawing, just note that in your comment.) If you don’t have anything to say on male body language, leave a comment to throw your name in the hat.

All giveaways will have a 24-hour entry period, and comments will be closed when the next day’s workshop is posted. All workshops will be posted at 7:00 AM CST on the date scheduled (unless I have any unforeseen problems getting it posted. In which case, I’ll make up new rules for that day.)

The book giveaways are open to everyone (USA and elsewhere), even if you win a book on a different day of the workshop.

Tomorrow’s topic – Female Body Language – how to know what she’s thinking by watching her

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

My next virtual workshop is Gender Differences for Writers, starting on Monday, July 28. It’s part of Paperback Writer’s Left Behind and Loving It week of virtual workshops. Be sure to check out her site for a list of the other great workshops happening this week.

Gender Differences for Writers
If your male characters sound like girls (but with facial hair), this workshop is for you. If you’re unsure how to craft realistic dialogue for the opposite sex, this workshop is for you. If you wonder why the men (or women) in your life do what they do and seem to be from another galaxy, this workshop is for you!

Here’s the daily schedule you can look forward to:

Male Body Language – July 28
Female Body Language – July 29
Male Speech – July 30
Female Speech – July 31
Male Thinking – August 1
Female Thinking – August 2

On August 3, I’ll have an eBook of the entire course available for free download. It will contain the daily posts, quick summary lists to use when writing, and extra resources you can use for more information on male and female differences.

In addition, each day will have a giveaway of one of my favorite writing books. Everyone who participates in the workshop by commenting on that day’s post will be entered into the drawing for that day’s book giveaway. Details will be included in each daily post. Each giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you win something on a different day in the workshop.

Be sure to check in each day to learn some new things about men and women and to enter the daily giveaway. To make sure you don’t miss a day, sign up for the RSS feed (link is in the upper right corner of the blog) and have the new posts delivered to you.

See you on Monday for the start of the workshop!

The last piece in the Character puzzle is Attitude. You may wonder why attitude is included in the Appearance section. You can see what the character looks like. You can see where the character lives and how her living space is laid out and decorated. You can’t see an attitude. Or can you?

Attitude is the character’s consistent disposition or dominant impression. Say you’ve got a friend, Robbie. And he is Mr. Bad News. No matter what happens, he can put a negative spin on it. It could be your birthday and he’d mutter, “Another year gone that you’re never getting back.” He usually has a somber expression, more frown than anything. He walks slowly, his shoulders hunched as if waiting for someone to hit him. He squints a bit with a permanent crease between his eyes.

Do you see Robbie’s attitude? Yep, it’s Negativity. He exudes it in how he stands, walks, everything he says, even how he says it.

Figuring out your character’s attitude will give you a handle on how that character moves through each scene in your story. It gives you a starting place for what a character might say or do in response to the story events.

To select an attitude for your character, take a look at the character’s personality. Is there an element there that provides a dominant impression for your character? Perhaps her analytical tendencies have become a compulsion and she analyzes everything and everyone around her.

Look at your character’s history. What life events have shaped him and how does he feel about them? Did a bad childhood leave her with a timid disposition or a chip on her shoulder? Is the world her rose garden or is today just another ho hum day?

Find the attitude that your character wears day in and day out and use it to make your character memorable.

And this brings us to the end of the Character Creation Made Easy series. I hope you enjoyed it and found some tools that will help you create your next character.

Have a suggestion for a writing series you’d like to see? Leave me a note in the comments. I love a challenge!

Along with an appearance for your character, you’ll need to determine his or her surroundings. That usually means the place where they live. But if you’re like me, you probably have limited experience in housing. All of the places I’ve lived have generally fallen into a middle-class range. Nothing very run-down or poor and certainly nothing ritzy. So what do you do if your character lives somewhere vastly different from you? Here are some options for getting the details you need.

Neighborhood
Start by looking around your own city to see if there are areas of it that are suitable to your character’s needs. While your own neighborhood may not be right (too rich, too poor, too average), you might find something that will work for your story close to home. The People or Living section of the local newspaper might have feature articles on specific neighborhoods as well. An online chamber of commerce site can provide good information as well.

Home Shows
Many communities offer tours of newly constructed homes to the public. Take along a camera and snap pictures of the latest in quality living. You can often find details on local shows through the chamber of commerce.

Apartment Buildings
Large apartment complexes often have different layouts to their units and floor plan maps showing the different choices. Or ask to have a tour of their model apartment or a vacant one, if available.

Realtor Websites
Online photos and virtual tours of houses that are currently for sale are becoming more popular. Check out the websites of your local real estate companies and see if you can find a house that suits your character. This works especially well if your character lives in a different city or state.

Hotel Websites
Is your character planning to visit Las Vegas or some other city, try checking out the hotel websites in the area. In Vegas, you can view floor plans and photos of the rooms in the MGM Grand to the Bellagio. If your character’s tastes and finances are more modest, you can also view photos for motels like Super 8 or Holiday Inn.

Furniture Stores
Once you’ve determined the housing for your character, you need to furnish it. An afternoon in a furniture store can provide some great ideas. Take a camera along to record your findings.

Home Improvement Stores
Another option is to hang out at a home improvement store. Many have displays of kitchen and bath designs that might just fit your character’s home. And maybe you’ll get an idea for that hobby project your character is working on… remodeling a bathroom, anyone?

Decorating Magazines
This is another good source for pictures of rooms where your character might spend his or her leisure time. Use the different photos to build a home for your character.

As with other aspects of character building, try to select a few key details about your character’s environment to draw a picture for your readers of who your character is.

Next up, the final piece in the character puzzle. Stay tuned!